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The Madness of Star Wars Inconsistency

In response to an io9 post about Return of the Jedi facts, user bangishotyou points out the  frustrating inconsistency of George Lucas with this thought of how an alternate future would play out:

Also, Lucas clarified that a “Jedi Master” like Yoda is different from a Jedi Knight,” because “he’s a teacher, not a real Jedi.” And Yoda is like a Guru, who “doesn’t go out and fight anybody.” And Yoda wouldn’t be any good in a fight, against someone like Darth Vader.

Fast forward decades later and Lucas, the writing master that he is, goes back on something he previously stated about something he previously created.

More on this breaking news at 11. Now back to Ollie for the weather.

If I ever get serious about my writing and create a universe and fill it with marvelous characters that people love, I’m gonna pull a Lucas. I will change the rules literally at random from book to book. I will give definitive interviews on the characters and universe I’ve created and ended them with, “Everything I just said is set in stone. I won’t change a thing.” Then I’d go and change every single goddamn thing and when called out on it I’d stroke my handlebar mustache (cause I’ll grow one by then just for this next part) and say, “I get what you’re saying, but these are my creations. Those set in stone things I said before, I was high when I said them! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a lunch with Michael Bay. Those characters you love? Oh yeah. We are gonna do horrible, horrible things to them. Because we can.” And then I’d do a backflip off the interview chair while laughing maniacally and dash off into the night. (Because I also control time at this point and an exit as random as that deserves to be done under the cover of darkness.)

Kasdan responded: “I understand what you’re saying, but I can’t believe it; I am in shock.”

This sounds like a voice of reason. A person who would have fit right in with the rest of us after seeing The Phantom Menace.

Intergalactic Love

May I ask for your Han in marriage?
jk. just trying to get Lea’d

but I WILL love you till the Endor time.
or till Darth do us part.


Han Shot First

“Han shot first” is a phrase used by Star Wars fans to refer to a controversial change made to a scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. In the scene, Han Solo meets the bounty hunter Greedo at the Mos Eisley Cantina. Han owes money to galactic crime lord Jabba the Hutt for dumping some cargo that he was supposed to smuggle for Jabba, and Greedo has come to take Han’s money, rather than bring him to Jabba. Han and Greedo sit opposite each other at a table and hold an ominous conversation while Greedo aims his blaster at Han. During their conversation and unbeknownst to Greedo, Han stealthily readies his own blaster beneath the table.

Greedo tells Han “I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.” and Han replies “Yes, I’ll bet you have.” In the original theatrical version of the film, Han shoots Greedo and Greedo dies without firing a shot. The scene was modified for the 1997 re-release to feature Han using his weapon in retaliation after Greedo fires at him; the latter missing Han at point-blank range (<2 meters away). Thus, the phrase "Han shot first" is a retort to director George Lucas' explicit cinematographic assertion that "Greedo shot first."

Star Wars creator George Lucas explained the change by stating that he wanted to make clear to children that Han had “no choice” but to shoot Greedo. This justification was unsatisfactory to many long-time and adult fans of the series. The ire of some fans led to an online petition demanding that the changes be retracted. The primary objection to the revision is that it alters Han’s initially morally ambiguous character, making his later transition from anti-hero to hero less meaningful; others claim that shooting Greedo first was justified, since Han was likely to be killed by Greedo or Jabba the Hutt, making Han’s preemptive action both prudent and necessary. The plausibility of Greedo missing from such a short distance is also considered questionable, and criticized as being depicted in an awkward manner.[citation needed]

Since the Special Editions, there have been two DVD releases. In the 2004 DVD release, the disputed scene was altered again. In this version, Greedo still shoots before Han does, and he still misses at close range, but the timing is altered (so the shots are fired at almost the same time) and Han “dodges” the shot (digital manipulation is used to “lean” the character to one side).

The 2006 DVD had two versions—the 2004 changes and the original theatrical version. The theatrical version features no changes, including Han shooting first. When announcing the dual-version DVDs, Lucasfilm noted that the scene was included by saying: “…and yes, [viewers] see Han Solo shot first.”
For the 2011 Blu-ray release, the shot of Han and Greedo firing at each other from the 2004 DVD has been tightened up by several frames.

In a 2012 interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Lucas altered his previous statements by announcing that Greedo had always shot first – stating that a combination of bad close-up shots and the audiences’ inaccurate perception of the Han Solo character was what actually caused all the confusion: “The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down.

ATAT dog costume

protect the rebel base from attacks

Rebel Alliance, Ready to Attack

“The target area is only two meters wide. It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system.”

Death Star Watermelon

Can destroy an entire house

Force Push Radio Face

cooler than shooting lighting from your hands

Pikachewie, I choose you!

This animated series would be a huge hit and you know it…

C3P-Oh My…

Because tape just isn’t as sticky when it doesnt come from the crotch of everyones favorite protocol droid.

Return of the Jedi playground

Via Dvice who corrected BoingBoings original mislabeling (yet to be corrected) calling the machine an AT-AT walker (false, my friend!) but correctly calls out how horribly unbalanced it is. This top heavy play-station sounds like an Empire-defeat waiting to happen.